Dienstag, 30. September 2008

The never-ending Bust-A-Move

Does anybody remember the good old Puzzle Bobble, or "Bust-a-Move" as it is called on the DreamCast and some other platforms? Well I guess you don't really have to be nostalgic as the game is still all over the shop. I swear, you can purchase it as one of those tiny digital watches with a game inside. Anyway, a while ago I got a version for my mobile phone, because I was bored and had to pass time. I really dig Puzzle Bobble, it's a really cool game. I played it in the arcades and had a copy for my DreamCast as well. It's a good alternative to Tetris and at least to me, one of the finest puzzle games of all time. But the one I downloaded for my mobile phone lacks one particular feature which made the game go less interesting the more often I played it (and that's not a good thing for a puzzler): you cannot win. I swear to God this shitty version of Puzzle Bobble is rigged. Normally it takes you ten hits for the next row to come down, so you have plenty of time to build up chain reactions and clear the screen. When you have fewer balls on the grid then the number of hits you get drops from ten to nine to eight. Which is fair enough. But while you would be still able to finish the game at one point this one doesn't let you, because whenever you get close to clear all the balls, it drops a new row. EVERY SINGLE TIME. And it doesn't even give you a warning. Sometimes I had 2 whole hits between one row and the next one coming down. What the hell? Not only can you never finish a game, you'd have to play longer and longer and longer to beat your highscore. Honestly I don't even bother playing it anymore because I once played as long as an hour and a half and I can never be bothered to spend that much time on it again. Bah, what a way to mess with such a cool game :-(

Samstag, 27. September 2008

Title Page

Here's the title page from "VotpW". Maybe you guys can help me coming up with a name for the protagonist, since I have to use an alias because the guy i based it on is now in prison for sexual harassment...

Veteran of the Psychic Wars

I'm working on a new comic about a ficticious war on a ficticious planet fought by ficticious people... well, except the hero. He's real. Last night he climbed through my bedroom window and urged me to make a comic about him, so that he could impress chicks with it. I thought that was pretty sad, but the ideas he had for the story sounded cool, so i thought: "what the heck. i'll do it!" Anyways, I'll be posting my progress on fresh meat explosion from now on, so you guys can check it out and tell me how stupid the story is, how there is no character development, how abysmally bad the drawings are and all that shit. See ya.

Sonntag, 21. September 2008

One Trick Ponies

I finally came up with a scheme to get rich quick: One Trick Ponies! It's the most awesome idea a human mind could have thought of. I breed tiny ponies, down to a size where you could easily place them on your desk or your nightstand. Then they get taúght one trick each. For example 'do a somersault', 'sing ode to joy' or 'dance lindy hop'. I pack them up in a kind of kinder surprise egg and sell them. People will go nuts over those tiny adorable ponies and the one trick they can do. But after a while they'll get tired of the pony doing somersaults over and over again. So, what should they do? They don't wanna get rid of that tiny bugger, because they became attached to it. So they'll just buy another one. That and the fact that they come in different coloring (based on the edition) will quickly make them become a highly sought after collectible item. Some of them are going to be 'rare' (like the maroon version of the bongo playing pony) others are 'common' (the strawberry colored roller skating pony). Soon they'll be a big hit and I'm going to be filthy rich and buy the moon.

Freitag, 19. September 2008

I Am Sick

Hey Folks. I've been sick for the last couple of days. Nasty infection of some inner organ of mine. Dunno exactly what's going on there but in the end they had to amputate my stomach. Not a nice feeling, I can tell you. Well, since I'm still recovering and can't entertain you, here is Intermission Piglet do do the job for me.

Sonntag, 14. September 2008

I just love the seaside

Where I live, there is an ocean just around the corner. Apart from the smelly seaweed and the weird creatures that come to the shore at night, it's actually a really neat place. I went this morning and took my camera with. The photo is kinda blurry but I think it captures the mood quite well. Enjoy.

Sorry for the red-eye on the seademon but my camera is pretty crappy.

Welcome to Fresh Meat Explosion

It's always interesting to watch a new website explode. You haven't heard of it? Well, since there are like 6,7 billion people on this weird planet and each of them has about 4 different websites on which they post the length of their toenails, photos of their pet-skunk or a new song they made with a plastic bag and a wounded ocelot, and the internet is a fragile dark matter space which can only hold so much information, bad websites who contain nothing but crap explode every second. It is necessary! So I thought I'll just beat the internet police to it and detonate mine manually. It's a weird feeling to blast your site into oblivion, weird but also good. Like stars explode in space to give birth to other stars which eventually develop an atmosphere to grow life in just so that some weird species can invent jelly beans which taste like toothpaste. I'm serious. I read it on another website. Anyway as I watch my site slowly evaporate you may still enjoy the stuff that was once on it since it takes a while for a supernova to be visible on your screen and while you are reading each and every post be aware that it has posted trillions of years ago and the fact that you are reading it just now is not because the internet is so damn slow, but because your eyes are so incredibly lazy. Wait, is that really how it works? Hang on, I'm gonna check that on wikipedia.
Meanwhile watch this dot ---> o